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This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, John Colfer who was born in Maine on Aug 05, 1957 and passed away on Nov 09, 2004 at the age of 47. We will remember him forever.
John was a native Mainer and he loved it here. He was born, John Patrick Colfer, in Lewiston, Maine to Albert and Rita Colfer. He was the third son and fifth child of the couple. John was supposed to have been a twin, but his mother developed German Measles while pregnant with the twins and thus John's twin died. John was born on August 5, 1957 and at birth none of the doctors expected him to live. They simply did not know John. John had severe Scoliosis, a hole in his spine, a deformed kidney, a deformed spleen, duplication of the bowels, a tumor that was wrapped around his heart, a tumor that ran through his intestines and a tumor that traveled up and down his left side. Many surgeries at varying times were performed in order to correct some of the damage to his body. Between the ages of birth and 2 years old John had more than 30 surgeries and had not left the hospital at all. As a matter of fact, he was pronounced dead on the operating table several times and they always managed to pull him back. They said he would never walk and he started walking when he was about 2 and 1/2 years old. They said he would never live past 20, and while he WAS still young when he died, he made it well past 20 years old.
John's childhood was not an easy one. He came home when he was about 3 years old and promptly had to go back to the hospital due to a huge burn on his left arm. The burn was given to him by one of his family members throwing boiling water on him. No, it was not an accident. John stayed in the hospital this time until he was almost old enough to go to school. When he came out of the hospital he started school right on time.
John was a rebel...with a cause. He tried drugs, he was a bully for awhile, he didn't try in school and he did a lot of things he should not have done. He did all of this as an escape, but he never used that as an excuse. He just said he was "stupid". He married a girl when he was 18 years old. He skipped going to college because he wanted to work and take care of her.
Right before he was 19 years old his first child was given to him. John was always upset that he was unable to see the birth of his son, but he said that when he held his son, Sean, in his arms the whole world changed for him. He never did drugs again and he said at that moment he realized just how purely and deeply one person could love another. He said it was his first truly spiritual experience. He almost lost his wife that day because she started to hemorage after the baby was born and John said that had to have been one of the most frightening moments he had ever experienced.
Years went by and John had many jobs. His health often forced him to quit these jobs. He was in and out of the hospital a lot. Most times it would either be for his knees or adhesions he had in his stomach from previous surgeries. However, at the age of about 22, he was out with two of his children and started to cross the road at a crosswalk in Maine. A car came around the side very fast and did not even stop. John said that every time he crossed a street he always made his children hold his hand and stand slightly behind him. Fortunately for them, he did exactly that on that day. This saved them from being hit as well. He wondered all of his life if he was a good father, but I think that one act showed how much he really cared.
At the age of about 37 John graduated from Mid State College in Maine. It had taken him only 2 years to get two Associate Degrees. One in Accounting and one is Bussiness Management. He started an accounting bussiness out of his home and enjoyed it very much. He said the best part of it was because he was able to be with his kids all day. He could also do daily cleaning and cooking, thus freeing his wife of some of those duties. I know that just by the way he spoke of her he had loved her a great deal.
John had two more children with his first wife after Sean was born. His second child was Linsay and his third child was Kayla. Each one that came along John felt was a blessing. John wanted to be active in their lives, anything from Girl Scouts to Little League. He loved every minute of it.
A little before Linsay's graduation from high school, John and his first wife decided to seperate. At this time however, I have to thank his ex wife for the divorce. Perhaps that seems odd, but had she not divorced him, he would not have moved to Virginia, and we would never have met. Her loss was my gain, because I loved him more than anything else. He was my soul...my split apart.
John said that he felt overwhelmed by the the loss of his spouse, and felt he needed to get away and try to forget it. He regreted it, but he decided at the time to move to Virginia. He said it was the worst decision he ever made in his life because not only did HE feel like he had abandoned his children, HIS CHILDREN felt like he had abandoned them. He asked a friend that he knew from the internet if he could rent a room from her while he worked and tried to get his life together. She agreed. He started work at a place called Heilig-Myers. He enjoyed the work because it allowed him to wear a suit and interact with customers and he made a lot of money at the job. He said that this allowed him to send every penny that he could back home to his ex-wife for their daughter Kayla. He was under a tremendous amount of stress though due to his boss at Helig-Myers. It caused him to start to have migraines that became very severe and he experienced extreme depression. He felt as though his hold world had fallen apart. He said at the time he wasn't even sure that there was anything worth living for.
Due to this depression and the migraines John asked for a little time off from work. His boss agreed to this. John took his time off from work and when he started to come back, his boss fired him for missing a week of work without calling in. John was very upset about this because despite the boss he had so loved working there. No longer having a job, he was free to do what he had wanted to do since the day he moved...move back to Maine to be with his children and the people he loved and cared about.
John met the woman that was to love him with all her heart and soul in August of 1998. Susan Phoebe Turner (me) lived in Ohio at the time and they met by sheer accident while looking around online. John was the charming man of my dreams and I was in love from day one. I sent him the ugliest picture I had of myself and he told me I was a goddess.
It wasn't to long before John drove down to meet me. As soon as I saw him I knew it was meant to be. I told him that I had no intentions of ever getting married and to not ever ask me. He nodded his head and promptly got down on one knee. "Will you marry me, Susie?" he said and I said yes. It was the only big risk I'd ever taken, but anyone who ever knew John, knows that it was worth it.
John was a good man. Actually, he was probably quite possibley the best man that I have ever known or can ever hope to know. His life was needlessly cut short due to medical error when he was being "treated" for chronic pain. On November 9th of 2004 I woke up from a selfish nap and came into the kitchen to find my husband lying dead at the table. For now, that is the end, but more will come later.
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Click here to see John Colfer I.'s Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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IMI Father Award / Susie Colfer (wife)
Today John received the New England Fathering Award for all of the involvement he had with IMI (Increasing Male Involvement). He started the Doughnuts for Dads thing and helped get fathers to come...
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John will be missed / Neville Colfer (DNA cousin)
John was always very enthusiastic about his family history and always sent me items he thought were interesting or would advance the research. He was also remarkable and unique in being innately and absolutely certain of his Norman heritage years bef...
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We will miss him / Esther Cavalieri (cousin)
We will miss him dearly and all of his comments and stories. I wish the best for you and your family. Thanks so much for inviting me to this site for John.Take Care,Esther and Isabella |
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| His legacy |
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The gravesite
This is another link that gives info about my baby:
1. Gravesite info |
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Story of His Life...
This song could have been a last letter from John to SO many people. It expresses his pain so well...
Gollum's Song Lyrics
performed by Emiliana Torrini
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame!
And we will weep to be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home
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World's Greatest Kisser!!
What more needs to be said? He was THE best kisser God ever made.
http://tinypic.com/1es0i9
This was made for me here.
http://www.greatestjournal.com/community/xcolor_barsx/ |
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Jimmy Buffett Religion
John may have been a Catholic, but he was also an avid member of another major religion, the Jimmy Buffett Religion. I believe they call themselves Parrotheads. Yes, to him Jimmy Buffett was the next thing to a god. John even had a shirt with Jimmy's picture on it that read "The Jimmy Buffett Religion". He had every CD Jimmy Buffett ever made and we listened to them EVERY DAY, sometimes all day long. John wanted so much to go to one of Jimmy Buffett's concerts and possible meet his hero even, but unfortunately he was not able to do that before he died. When John died, Mr. Buffett probably lost his biggest most admiring fan. |
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Colfer Carried On
John left behind both children and grand children to carry on the Colfer name and the Colfer gene. John Patrick Colfer I is the father of Sean Henry Colfer, who is the father of Dustin Wesley Colfer and River Christopher Colfer and Xavier Evan Colfer and a daughter Skylar Elizabeth Colfer. John Patrick Colfer I is the father of Linsay Anne Colfer, who gave birth to Cameron Nathaniel Colfer and then to Eliza Danielle Judkins and Dana Austin Judkins. John Patrick Colfer I is the father of Kayla Shivaun Colfer who has not as yet had children. He is also the father of John Patrick Colfer II and Pheba Jestin Sharon Sue Colfer, neither of which have children of their own. He has made sure that his line will continue for many many years to come. I hope those generations are always as proud of his heritage as he was. |
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| John's Photo Album |
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